[n]e[w] [l]a[y]o[u]t [ooowee...] [shawlay] [l]o[v]e [g]i[r]l[i]e [g]y[r]l ... oh and check out maii new site at http://www.xanga.com/iiluvuii also check out maii otha sitez at http://www.xanga.com/teddyb3arz , http://www.xanga.com/xox_xplicitpnaii_xox , and http://www.xanga.com/str8upfrontin okaii!!!...welpz im bored aZz alwayz n' i wuz suppose 2 go 2 a partee today buh den its rainin so maii mommy said no dun go ne'mo oh n i wen tuh church tuhdae at 11:05 and i saw mah fav. unteeh margarita welpz wun of maii fav. unteeh n i aslo saw amie, lexus, gene, alex, lyndon, and iono buh yea da peepoz i knoe i saw dem up in church welpz sum of dem i saw n sheiz buh yea sheesh im fawken bored aiote im mah be out lyke dis *+*wun*+* [f]a[t]t[y]g[y]r[l]

January 19,2004

" Me ,Myself,& I"

Once I fell inlove with a boy like you

I thought we was koo at first

But then in the end you said"good-bye"

Now I just found out that it's me,myself,& I

Each and everyday

When the phone rings

I would hope its you calling me

So many nights and days have past

And all of my breathes and tears are wasted

Now I just wish upon a star

That it ain't gonna be me,myself,& I anymore

Because of you.

Today  is another boring day like all the other boring day. Anyways I'm losing my voice again,It's probably because of the fresh pineapple that I ate for my snack but oh well I guess I'm gonna sound like an old lady again haha and I'm gonna be so bored cuz I'm staying home again Oh yay I'm going to skoo tommorrow haha.

January 20,2004

Today I feel really relieved from all the stress i've been having lately and I rea;;y don't know why i'm stressing alot but yeah.This morning I fixed Rachel's other site because she said she didn't want that lay-out anymore so I kinda fixed it and made it simple but pretty in a way hehe.

"Feeling Lonely"

I hope and I pray

That you'll be mine someday

But so many nights and mornings have past

And my prayer hasn't been granted

Now I'm down and out

Felling so lonely

But I still hope and pray

That you'll be mine someday.

January 15,2004

I'm so confused,i think Im starting to feel something for ****** but I don't wanna feel like this because I still like ******* and I think I will always will but then 2 of my bestfriends like him too so I've been hiding my feelings for ******* but at the same time I feel so down and rejected. AlsoI got a haircut up in Regis salon.

January16,2004

I'm feeling so sad hwen I see him try to ignore me and to see him and my bestfriend makes me cry because i wanna be the one whose with him through thick and thin.I don't know why i'm feeling like this. I feel like crying my heart out.I feel so stupid to be pretending that I don't like him when I know in my heart that I do and I think I will always will at this stage. I don't even know why I'm tripping about it, I don't even feel like caring anymore cuz I'm tired of being so stupid for liking and loving someone that I know will never have feelings for me because everybody thinks I'm a bit of a bratty and whinny kind of girl that I'am and I'm picky in a way or sometimes even bitchy.

January 17,2004

I thought that today would be a happy-day for me but I guess not, everything just seemed to fall apart after the talk I had with Chel. I feel like committing suicide even though I know that it's a sin and I know I would'nt do it just because of my depression. I'll just cry till I get over it maybe it will take awhile to make the pain go away but it's better than killing yourself for nothing right. I feel so lost and stupid cuz I'm going after a guy that doesn't even know I exist but all he probably knows is Oh Rachels friend that's hecka mean that's probably all he will ever know me as because he always makes me feel like a nothing when I'm around it. I know what I'm saying might be stupid but I'm hurt when I see him and my bestfriend flirting with each other. I feel so stupid dor trying to be the bridge to making them go out with each other. I wish I was never here because I'am so depressed and so hurt everytime I hear a word out of ******'s mouth about ******* like oh he hugged me and things like that.

" Crying Time Agian"

January 18,2004

"Crying"

Once I cried for you

And her we are again

Back where we started

It seems like were playing games

But it always ends up,

Me losing you

Now you made me incomplete

And I start to cry once again

To bring back the memories of your first "goodbye"

Then I said its all over with

But how come I'm still crying my one last  cry

Then I guess I should just cry my heartaches away

Just like you ran away from me

That cold lonesome night

hrRrmMm...Its another boring day for me yup. I didnt do anything but baby sit my nieces Camille and Ashley yup. Thats all that happened today.

Well not really . Teddy bear called me then Rachel then Raymon.Then I watched t.v to finally chill by myself after my nieces got picked up but it made me more bored.

geesh I think I got more vein then I was ever cuz i keep on rearranging my closet so that its organized like red goes with the red and stuff like that and if like a pillow is moved  I get so annoyed geesh I don't know whats wrong with me.

Song for today:

Bring It All To Me

Blaque Feat/N'Sync
There you are
Looking as fine as can be
In your fancy car
I can see you looking at me
What you wanna do?
Are you just gonna sit there and stare?
Baby talk to me
Tell me what's on your mind, baby oh

1 - Oh baby, bring it all to me
But I don't need no fancy cars or diamond rings
Oh baby, bring it all to me
Gimme your time, your love, your space, your energy

Baby, what's the deal?
Would I be too forward if
I told you how I feel
That's just the way I do my thang
I'm so for real
Are you feeling my Timb's, my baggy jeans
My thug appeal
Do you like it when a man can keep it real?
Oh

Repeat 1

Oh, baby
Oh, I'll put my pride to the side
Just to tell you how good you make me feel inside


There's not a single question
That we can't make this right
Cause it's you I need every day and night

oh ho ho baby yeah

Repeat 1 until fade

quOte:

" Leaving is easy to do but forgetting you is too complicated"